My mom is unequivocally my best friend – the first person I call in the morning, and the last person I call before I go to bed. She is wiser than the owl, and as sweet as they come, and even helped me to pursue my dream to become a professional matchmaker. Her advice has always been sound – and one of the best pieces of advice she ever gave me was how to smartly choose a husband.
My mom met my Dad on Sunday April 20, 1969 got engaged four days later on Thursday April 24, and married 3 days later on April 27, 1969. 7 days from start to finish – and they just celebrated 43 years of marriage. If you couldn’t clearly guess by my last name, my parents are from India, the land of arranged marriages. Contrary to popular belief, arranged marriages aren’t usually horrible, nor to complete strangers. You’re not “promised” at birth to the neighbor’s weird son, or forced to walk into your wedding never having seen your husband. Think of today’s “arranged marriage” as you would a strategic set-up by those that know you best (i.e, your family). Your parents help identify “suitable candidates” who have similar family backgrounds, socioeconomic strata, educational levels, religions – i.e., the “big picture” common denominators. Marriage is a very big deal in our culture, and something not to be taken lightly. Mom always said that the most important decision you’ll ever make is the person you marry. ”Honey, get the big things right” she’d so often say. My Mom never stressed marrying someone Indian. “Make sure he’s educated, cute (to you at least!), from a good family, hard working, kind, generous, and family oriented. Common interests aren’t so important – if you love the symphony and he doesn’t, go on your own or find someone else to go with. Get the big things right….Opposites might attract, but they don’t last.”
I found my perfect match in a good friend from high school. I got everything I needed in my husband, and much of what I wanted. He is hard working, kind, an amazing dad, smart, intellectually curious, and nice to me and everyone around him, every day, because that’s just who he is. He is a great partner, and without him, our family wouldn’t be what it is, and I certainly couldn’t have started the business 3 years ago. On May 17 (next week) – I’ll celebrate my 15th wedding anniversary with Andy, who is ultra high GHQ (ultra high in Good Husband Qualities as we say at Smart Dating Academy).
Thanks, Mom, for your sound advice – and for teaching me to choose well. You couldn’t be more right. Marrying him is the most important (and best) decision I’ve made – and with your guidance, I got the big things right. I’m eternally grateful. Thanks for being my BFF and I couldn’t love you more.
*Original article posted at AskAmyDaily*
Posted on Tue, July 10, 2012
by Bela Gandhi